So I was walking past my sisters room and I swear to god I caught a glimpse of her boyfriend giving my dog an open-mouthed kiss.
Weird.
Post your random weird things in here.
The Weird Thread
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Little Evil
We had this dude that worked for us ( I had him sacked about a 6 weeks ago), and I was watching him from the upstairs level of our shop unawares.
Anyway, this dude does/did our tele-sales, and we'd all just finished lunch.
We put him over the other side of the shop (because it's a big, big, store, and this dude does our heads in).
Anyway, I'm upstairs watching him without him knowing, and he gets up, creeps over to the lunch table, and starts going through the scraps - and I kid you not, nibbling on them, and or stuffing them in his bag for later.
(Half dim-sims, cake crumbs, half eaten pasties, etc)
It made me sick, I actually gagged, and I had his arse sacked ASAP.
What a disgusting little turd.
But, if you wanna get weird, I'll see ya, and raise your ass.
Fuck I've seen some weird shit lately!
Anyway, this dude does/did our tele-sales, and we'd all just finished lunch.
We put him over the other side of the shop (because it's a big, big, store, and this dude does our heads in).
Anyway, I'm upstairs watching him without him knowing, and he gets up, creeps over to the lunch table, and starts going through the scraps - and I kid you not, nibbling on them, and or stuffing them in his bag for later.
(Half dim-sims, cake crumbs, half eaten pasties, etc)
It made me sick, I actually gagged, and I had his arse sacked ASAP.
What a disgusting little turd.
But, if you wanna get weird, I'll see ya, and raise your ass.
Fuck I've seen some weird shit lately!
After work drinks last friday, a guy walks up to my friend and I and gives us $2 to buy ourselves a drink. We laughed, cause like $2 is really generous.
So then he took the money back, and then we were like "well thats pretty rude" so he kindly put the $2 back on the bar.
Then we laughed again.
So again, he took back the money and walked away with his suit pants tucked inside his socks.
So then he took the money back, and then we were like "well thats pretty rude" so he kindly put the $2 back on the bar.
Then we laughed again.
So again, he took back the money and walked away with his suit pants tucked inside his socks.
...and basically that's the situation
Yuck I am eating lunch and had to read that!aspekt wrote:I took a photo of this sign in the mens room of a client's building:
To whom it does concern
Flush the dunnies properly or change your diets!!
Most of us don't enjoy coming in to find a dirty filthy mess and floaties
People, people are weird. Life, people, this world... all weird.
That's so plausible I can't believe it!
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Ewww...yeah we get emails sent round at work now and again. One point there were people or person wiping their SNOT on the walls of the cubicles!aspekt wrote:I took a photo of this sign in the mens room of a client's building:
To whom it does concern
Flush the dunnies properly or change your diets!!
Most of us don't enjoy coming in to find a dirty filthy mess and floaties
I also wish people left to do their number 2's at home, it fucken stinks!
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munt beard
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we get emails asking people not to eat their lunch in the toilets - figured out some food in a brown paper bag was inadvertantly left in one of the cubicles - don't think people really eat in their at all.D wrote:Ewww...yeah we get emails sent round at work now and again. One point there were people or person wiping their SNOT on the walls of the cubicles!aspekt wrote:I took a photo of this sign in the mens room of a client's building:
To whom it does concern
Flush the dunnies properly or change your diets!!
Most of us don't enjoy coming in to find a dirty filthy mess and floaties
I also wish people left to do their number 2's at home, it fucken stinks!
weird:
My girlfriend India was walking down the street the other day and she spotted what appeared to be an unopened packet of tobacco. It was "White ox". After picking up the packet she realised that it actually had been opened, but it was virtually full, it had also been slid back into it's cellophane wrapper.
the pouch itself was uncreased and there was a new packet of tally-ho inside the cellophane wrapper.
She doesn't really like "white ox" but as this was a gold score she thinks "why not?". As she is opening the pouch she notices that the contents seem a little "squishy". "That's odd" she thinks but continues to open the pouch. Once the pouch is open she is overwhelmed with a violent stench. the pouch was in fact FULL of human feaces. She instantly threw the monstrosity of a package as far as her little arm would allow and screamed "OMG IT'S FULL OF SHIT!!!". Almost like 2001 but not quite.
That's right folks a massive steaming log inside a seemingly unused tobacco pouch.
this really happened
My girlfriend India was walking down the street the other day and she spotted what appeared to be an unopened packet of tobacco. It was "White ox". After picking up the packet she realised that it actually had been opened, but it was virtually full, it had also been slid back into it's cellophane wrapper.
the pouch itself was uncreased and there was a new packet of tally-ho inside the cellophane wrapper.
She doesn't really like "white ox" but as this was a gold score she thinks "why not?". As she is opening the pouch she notices that the contents seem a little "squishy". "That's odd" she thinks but continues to open the pouch. Once the pouch is open she is overwhelmed with a violent stench. the pouch was in fact FULL of human feaces. She instantly threw the monstrosity of a package as far as her little arm would allow and screamed "OMG IT'S FULL OF SHIT!!!". Almost like 2001 but not quite.
That's right folks a massive steaming log inside a seemingly unused tobacco pouch.
this really happened
Last edited by deviant on Wed Jul 26, 2006 5:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
o_0
i cannot fathom why someone would do that. I mean the concept is funny "how funny would it be if someone thought they had found a full pack of tobacco but instead it's full of crap LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!1111one" but it would cease to be amusing as soon as you realised that you actually had to go about carefully collecting a turd and then placing it into a tobacco pouch that you had bought and emptied in such a careful fashion that it retained it's brand new look.
all i can say is: who does that?
i cannot fathom why someone would do that. I mean the concept is funny "how funny would it be if someone thought they had found a full pack of tobacco but instead it's full of crap LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!1111one" but it would cease to be amusing as soon as you realised that you actually had to go about carefully collecting a turd and then placing it into a tobacco pouch that you had bought and emptied in such a careful fashion that it retained it's brand new look.
all i can say is: who does that?
There's no justice, just us.
While we're still on the subject of poo. My boyfriend use to hang out with some kids down his street when he was younger, this family was aparently a bit merrrr in the head. They had a toilet outside right, boyf was hanging about only to have the dude come out of the toilet...holding some toilet paper...guess what was in the toilet paper...yes a steaming hot shit. He proceded to chase my boyf around with it!! I shit you not! Pun intended. So yes....
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Little Evil
deviant wrote:weird:
My girlfriend India was walking down the street the other day and she spotted what appeared to be an unopened packet of tobacco. It was "White ox". After picking up the packet she realised that it actually had been opened, but it was virtually full, it had also been slid back into it's cellophane wrapper.
the pouch itself was uncreased and there was a new packet of tally-ho inside the cellophane wrapper.
She doesn't really like "white ox" but as this was a gold score she thinks "why not?". As she is opening the pouch she notices that the contents seem a little "squishy". "That's odd" she thinks but continues to open the pouch. Once the pouch is open she is overwhelmed with a violent stench. the pouch was in fact FULL of human feaces. She instantly threw the monstrosity of a package as far as her little arm would allow and screamed "OMG IT'S FULL OF SHIT!!!". Almost like 2001 but not quite.
That's right folks a massive steaming log inside a seemingly unused tobacco pouch.
this really happened
It's all good, that tobacco is shit anyway.
I tried smoking it once and couldn't even get it lit.
And the corn in it kept popping while I was trying to light it anyway.
Almost blew my fucking eyebrows off.
I have pondered this question for many an hour while holding back hoards of cackling laughter attemping to escape from my throat....aspekt wrote:o_0
i cannot fathom why someone would do that. I mean the concept is funny "how funny would it be if someone thought they had found a full pack of tobacco but instead it's full of crap LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!1111one" but it would cease to be amusing as soon as you realised that you actually had to go about carefully collecting a turd and then placing it into a tobacco pouch that you had bought and emptied in such a careful fashion that it retained it's brand new look.
all i can say is: who does that?
Hehe, that's what I was thinking before. Imagine showing that to your kids.kronz wrote:I dont know who would do such a thing but i bet they filmed the entire thing.nic wrote:GENUINE LOL DAN!!!! Thats filth! Who on earth prepared it?
sorry to say that deviant.
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Last night I had a dream that I was in Japan and I met three flamingoes. One was normal, but the other two were super-heroes, and if they knocked themselves on the head with a chupa-chup, they would transmorgify from teddy-bears to flamingo-ninjas.
I wanted to be a hero. I wanted to be the center of attention. I wanted the glory, I wanted the fame. I wanted the pretty girls to come up and say, "Hi, I see that you're good at Centipede."
that wasnt a dream.. was it?Hardy wrote:Last night I had adream where i was really drunk, then i smoked to bongs and was so fucking high that i pissed myself, and my friends got cut at me cos there was piss everywhere, but i was smashed so i was all like "it's just piss and i'm fucked, deal".. I wish i was joking.
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factory worker
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Lós Kasino—
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well while on the weird/gross story subject:
My friend was travelling on a train to Italy from France with his sister and they had one of those carriages to themselves untill a strange frenchman entered the carriage and has a seat opposite them.
Apparently he looked all hunched over and creepy and you could notice him playing pocket snooker under his jacket!
So they both kind of just ignored him and hoped he would go away. Eventually they must have fallen asleep or something because when they woke up the man was gone and he turned to his sister when she screamed out at the top of her lungs!!
the man had left a small deposit of Jizz on her shoe...
no shit.
My friend was travelling on a train to Italy from France with his sister and they had one of those carriages to themselves untill a strange frenchman entered the carriage and has a seat opposite them.
Apparently he looked all hunched over and creepy and you could notice him playing pocket snooker under his jacket!
So they both kind of just ignored him and hoped he would go away. Eventually they must have fallen asleep or something because when they woke up the man was gone and he turned to his sister when she screamed out at the top of her lungs!!
the man had left a small deposit of Jizz on her shoe...
no shit.
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ghetto kitty
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OMG I can't. It's not my story and I could get in troubleADD_Boy wrote:Gnat, Tell us about the Snap lock bag!!!
Funniest ROFL story I've heard in ages though
If ya see me out I'll divulge but I'm not posting it- i'll get shot
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss
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Little Evil
I'm on an overseas trip ages ago, when I was about 19, in some little town in Europe.
Anyway, I picked up this French bird, and one thing lead to another, and we ended up going back to the dorm for a shag.
It was the middle of Winter over there, and there weren't that many tourists, so the only other dude in my dorm was this fat french dude, who said nothing to me, and had camped all his shit up the other end of the dorm (approx 20 metres)
Anyway, this French chick and I are getting right into it, and then the door opens, and Frenchie comes in, and goes to bed.
We'd stopped, and waited for him to go to sleep, as he sounded drunk as, and then continued, as quietly as possible.
Anyway, here's the point of the story...
Here I am, rasping away, and for some reason I look around and see that this dude has made his way down the whole dorm acrros the top of the bunks, to stick his head down over the bunk, to get a full view. His head was hanging over the top, and all I could really see was the whites of his eyes.
Without missing a stroke, I pretended he wasn't there, turned the chick over, and simultaneously gave him a right-hander that would have put down an oxe.
He went out cold, woke up, then crawled back to his bed in shame, and was gone in the morning when we woke up.
The French chick was oblivious to the whole episode, and I didn't want to ruin the whole 'nice guy' thing I had portrayed myself as until I had gotten my rocks off.
(Sorry, it's a guy thing )
'hey baby, I just knocked two of a perverts teeth out while I was doing you from behind - how do you like those onions?' (I think not)
Anyway, I picked up this French bird, and one thing lead to another, and we ended up going back to the dorm for a shag.
It was the middle of Winter over there, and there weren't that many tourists, so the only other dude in my dorm was this fat french dude, who said nothing to me, and had camped all his shit up the other end of the dorm (approx 20 metres)
Anyway, this French chick and I are getting right into it, and then the door opens, and Frenchie comes in, and goes to bed.
We'd stopped, and waited for him to go to sleep, as he sounded drunk as, and then continued, as quietly as possible.
Anyway, here's the point of the story...
Here I am, rasping away, and for some reason I look around and see that this dude has made his way down the whole dorm acrros the top of the bunks, to stick his head down over the bunk, to get a full view. His head was hanging over the top, and all I could really see was the whites of his eyes.
Without missing a stroke, I pretended he wasn't there, turned the chick over, and simultaneously gave him a right-hander that would have put down an oxe.
He went out cold, woke up, then crawled back to his bed in shame, and was gone in the morning when we woke up.
The French chick was oblivious to the whole episode, and I didn't want to ruin the whole 'nice guy' thing I had portrayed myself as until I had gotten my rocks off.
(Sorry, it's a guy thing
)'hey baby, I just knocked two of a perverts teeth out while I was doing you from behind - how do you like those onions?' (I think not)
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Little Evil
Nah, she just fucked my brains out.
That's the truth of it. Knocked out perv and all.
The chick was insatiable.
Euro chicks rule.
There's no messing around - it's 'yes' or 'no' and nothing in between.
No games, just straight into it, or flat out rejection. I admire their 'straight-upness'
Not really into the pervs though.
How I miss my days over there.
That's the truth of it. Knocked out perv and all.
The chick was insatiable.
Euro chicks rule.
There's no messing around - it's 'yes' or 'no' and nothing in between.
No games, just straight into it, or flat out rejection. I admire their 'straight-upness'
Not really into the pervs though.
How I miss my days over there.